LEAN INTO THE HEAT.
FIND CLARITY AND ALIGNMENT IN YOUR BUSINESS
Imagine getting cooked under a full sun, in a hot, humid air, head spinning from a 12 hour headache and a sleepless night, with barely any energy left to draw in a proper breath, when someone hands you a hot cup of tea and pushes it under your nose making sure you don’t avoid it. So, out of politeness, you shot it and you instantly start to perspire profusely, your mind going numb for a few seconds. And for the next 2-3 minutes you sit completely still, afraid that you might just melt into a puddle if you move. And just when you think you’re over the worst of it, another cup finds its way under your nose, accompanied by a wide smile and a nod of the head to keep drinking.
As torturous as that scene might sound, it was actually one of the most memorable and pivotal moments of my adult life. In that cloud of heat and pain I found clarity, a sense of belonging and ultimately my mission - first, in that actual moment and again 10 years later reminiscing on that experience, trying to find my way out of another mind numbing hot mess that was my business.
Leaning into the heat and the pain of the moment was actually the rescue I needed, and one of the most valuable lessons I learned about life and business.
Now, allow me to take you back to the beginning of this story.
Ten years ago, I was working with a colleague on a conservation project in South China, for my Master’s dissertation, when I shared a pot of tea with a cab driver.
The day prior, I spent four hours in a hot minivan en route to our final destination in order to complete the research we were conducting there. The tropical air was like a sauna–stifling and soggy–and there was no breeze to ease the oppression. With hours of relentless honking and people yelling at each other from the car, to endure from the backseat, my adventure was losing its charm by the minute and what was supposed to be a dream come true was slowly becoming a nightmare.
The following morning, after failing to close an eye all night, as I explored our new home, I crossed paths with the driver who brought us there. In the courtyard of our residence, he sat on a small bench, and unlike me, he wasn’t sweating bullets. Despite the language barrier between us, he gestured for me to join him. Only once I sat down, did I realise he had brought a kettle and a small ceramic tea set to the garden. Pulling a bag of oolong from his pocket, he made two small cups of tea that wafted a wonderful blend of flowers and tropical fruit aromas.
A hot cup of tea, however, was the last thing I wanted at that moment–even at dawn, the sweltering heat was brutal. The first cup I took politely, but the seventh I accepted happily. In less than quarter of an hour, the heat of the tea killed the heat that had been torturing me since the previous day. And my mind… finally surrendered into a moment of profound clarity.
The driver and I knew less than five words of each other's language, but we managed to find a meaningful connection in each other’s company. On that little bench in China, I recognized tea brewing as a ritual for connection and contemplation. A path for clarity and belonging.
And just like that, I came back into my dream come true. A place I belonged.
Years later, I’m sitting on my sofa sipping my daily tea, early morning. Sun filtering through the drapes and a nice cool breeze hitting my face. Yet my mind is overheated with overwhelming thoughts of failure, fear of going back to a 9-5 job and to a life I can never claim as my own, all layered with a feeling of disconnect from everything I had ever done in my business over the past 6 years…
In a flash I’m back in that tiny courtyard in China under a scorching sun, not knowing where to look and trying not to move too much for fear of dropping from the heat. Thoughts are buzzing in my head to the point of meltdown. I take a sip of tea… a smiling face hovering in front of my eyes…and then it hit me - how I’ve always found my flow, and that elusive sense of belonging, when I‘ve been immersed in meaningful conversations with other creatives like me, who, challenged with the exact same context I was finding myself in, allowed me to guide them in digging deep under the surface, to uncover their clarity and to find ease around making their passion a reliable source of living.
Leaning into the heat and flipping the perspective on my biggest pain point, like I did over a decade ago, helped me find my mission and a sense of belonging in my own business. And it did the same for my clients… without fail.
So, I’m curious, what’s driving up the heat for you at the moment?
I found that, with artists and creative entrepreneurs especially, the overwhelm, confusion and discontent often come from a sense of disconnect from the work they produce, from the clients they work with, from how they show up in their business or how they run the business overall. And that -get ready to be triggered- is a big sign that you either don’t know yourself well enough, or that you’re succumbing to the pressure of being like everyone else or what everyone is telling you they need you to be, or the market needs you to be. Or maybe it’s a blend of both.
The truth is, a state of belonging, whether in business or in life in general, can only be reached when you are living and working from your most authentic expression. And adversity is your first sign that something’s misaligned. That you move through this world and in your business as a representation of what you believe others need you to be - at least on some level. That you follow every bit of advice out there because it promises a quick fix or incredible rewards, without checking in and being fully honest with yourself, if that’s truly the best way for you to go forward.
So, instead of allowing the heat to take you down, embrace it and let it teach you where you need to reconnect with yourself. Sit with it and feel it. And then ask yourself the following questions:
Where exactly is the friction coming from? Is the problem really what you think it is?
Is there anything that goes against your values or that takes up too much of your energy?
If there were no limitations, if money was never a problem, if no one ever had anything bad to say about you or your work, and you truly believed that whatever you do every day is beneficial, in some way or another, to someone out there, would you still do the same thing or do it as you have until now - whatever your pain point is?
If not, what would you do instead? How would you feel most comfortable expressing yourself and showing up in your business?
And if you find that you need to make a (radical) change, one that challenges you or seems to go against the grain, go for it with unrelenting confidence and consistency. I promise you, that is a sure way to long-lasting, sustainable results and a true sense of belonging and fulfilment in your business.
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